LOVE, SUZI x – Location – 35,000ft, Inspiration – cabin crew life, Book – available from Amazon! LAX

Posted on August 5, 2013 by Teresahamiltonwriter

25th June – Los Angeles, (LAX) 130ft – hotel

Dear Eve

So there I was on a trip to L.A. The longer the flight went on the calmer and more rational my thoughts about Matt became. Even the family with the two obnoxious children who wouldn’t stop kicking the back of the seat in front so that the woman in it started having a go at me, were less hassle. Matt had actually thrown his slippers in frustration at me at one point. He’d left them in my room the last time he’d stayed and just happened to trip over them as he was pacing in anger, trying to think up more reasons why it was all my fault. Just goes to show, never trust a man with moccasin slippers. Definitely dodgy. I just couldn’t help thinking that I’d had a lucky escape. Imagine being married to someone who puts moccasins on his Christmas and birthday lists just so he’s got ready ammunition. I want a partner who can make me laugh – but not at him. Give me a man who can go through life without slippers, and I’ll show you a risk taker and adventurer.

So I’m in Los Angeles. We used to stay down-town but are now put up in a hotel in Santa Monica by the beach. I haven’t bonded with anybody on the crew so I’m pretty much Jonnie-no-mates. Still the weather’s good and there’s so much to see. I went for a walk along by the Palisades. It’s like a prom that runs alongside the Pacific Coast Highway. It’s really pretty with palm trees and pathways that weave through the grass and neatly tendered flower beds. There’s a great view of the ocean on one side. By the time I’d walked along and back I was ravenous. But I had to pass through Venice. 

Venice Beach Park is a place that makes walking along the front at Brighton seem like the starter. If you think Brighton has got a few dodgy characters it’s nothing compared to the likes here. Everyone comes out to show off their own particular brand of peculiarity and to soak up the rays.  And it wasn’t just the men. I saw sights that shouldn’t be allowed out during the day. You get the usual bearded wonder doing his Taekwondo or a very precarious Sun Salutation in risky shorts but who in their right mind would go roller blading in a thong? Well, she did for a start. Mind you, if my butt was that taut I’d want to show it off too.

 It’s a shame it’s such a short trip, I could do with exploring some more. At the back of the beach are stalls selling all sorts of tat, plus I could have got my hair braided with Stars and Stripes (very becoming with the uniform, but I managed to resist).

I stopped off for a late breakfast to watch as the world and his wife came out to play. Just as I was tucking into my eggs (over easy) with a humongous portion of hash browns on the side, glad that I wasn’t sitting in a thong as it would not have stretched to cover anything by the time I’d finished my plateful, along walks Katie, the stewardess from First Class with a tall, bronzed, brown haired man beside her. My jaw nearly dropped my mouthful of eggs back onto the plate he was so gorgeous. She obviously had been brought up beautifully and taught to share as she noticed me sitting on the terrace and, to my delight, asked if they could join me.

Breakfast had suddenly got even better. Turns out the fitty’s called Ed and he’s her friend from another crew. Well, he didn’t show any signs of being her boyfriend nor gay but she did let it slip towards his second coffee refill that he was a First Officer. He was so funny and entertaining and had me laughing so much I nearly spat a mouthful of toast over him; I could just about forgive him for being Flight Deck. Neither of them seemed in a hurry to move on so we ended up sitting there until they started serving lunch. Ed seemed to know everywhere and everything and had a knack of making even the most ordinary topics hilarious. When Katie moved away onto the beach to take a private call on her mobile, I suddenly found myself tongue tied when Ed asked me how I was getting on with the job at the same time as gently leaning across the table and removing an eyelash from my cheek.

‘Oh.’ I uttered as I sat still unsure at first what he was doing. He held out his finger to show me. Thank goodness it wasn’t a bogey or anything unsavoury. ‘Fine. Thanks for asking.’

‘You don’t sound too sure.’

‘No, really. Everything’s okay.’ He didn’t realise, it wasn’t his question that was causing me a problem but the intimacy of his touch. Brushing me with an electric bolt would have caused much the same reaction. And the way he looked at me, Eve; straight in the eyes. I felt my insides go to mush and slosh around, dousing the butterflies fluttering in there.  Thank goodness Katie came back at that moment so I could excuse myself and go and find the toilet, giving my cheeks time to calm down. Turns out he’s stopping over in San Francisco next. Shame he’s not flying me home, I could have found many excuses for visiting the cockpit otherwise.

Love Suzi x

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Today’s the today – LOVE, SUZI x launched and flying around the world.

Posted on July 25, 2013 by Teresahamiltonwriter

Suzi front cover 9-7-13

Today LOVE, SUZI x is officially launched and available to download from Amazon. The paperback should be available in a few weeks. Thank you to all my followers for your continued support. It is much appreciated.

I’ll continue to put snippets on here as I’m in the process of writing a sequel of Suzi’s adventures . Any ideas or feedback would be most welcome.

Love

Teresa x

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LOVE, SUZI x – Location – 35,000ft, Inspiration – cabin crew life, Book – OUT NOW!

Posted on July 23, 2013 by Teresahamiltonwriter

I’m thrilled to announce…

Suzi front cover 9-7-13

 that the book of LOVE, SUZI x is now available to download from Amazon. The printed version will be available soon.

Here’s a link :- LOVE, SUZI x

And if you want a look at the book trailer here it is :- LOVE SUZI x trailer

If you love Suzi as much as me please share the love and if you can spare the time to write me a review which will push me up the rankings I would be eternally grateful.

Love

Teresa x

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My Favourite Thing

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Teresahamiltonwriter

Another extract from Love, Suzi, x – out soon.

‘I know you’re in there.’

‘I know you’re in there.’ There was banging on the door but this time louder. Vaguely I came to, looked around another hotel room and tried to work out where I was. Everything was dark.

‘Open up! Let me in,’ came the demand from outside the door.

My ear was aching. I remembered that I was in a hotel room in Sydney. Quickly I got out of bed and looked at my watch. 1. 45 a.m. What the hell was going on and who was that outside my door? I rushed over to have a look through the spy hole. A suited man of about thirty was standing outside.

‘Let me in!’ he demanded again. I reached for the door handle, and then some self preservation clicked in.  I stood away from the door and took a deep breath. What the hell was I doing? I was off-loaded here last night and the Duty Officer sorted me out with a room. It’s not the usual crew hotel which was full, so he’s hoping to move me tomorrow. Nobody knows I’m here in Sydney except my crew who have flown on to Perth without me.

I went over to the bedside table and rang down to reception.

          ‘Can I help you?’ the calm voice enquired.

          ‘Yes, I have strange man banging on my door demanding to be let in. I’m alone here in Sydney and know no one. Please can you send security up to deal with it?’ I was amazed at my self control.

‘Are you sure you don’t know him?’

‘Certain. Can you please hurry as he’s making a lot of noise?’

‘Of course, I’ll send someone up straight way.’

I went back to the door and put my eye up close to the spy hole. The man was leaning against the door frame. Suddenly an eyeball came into my view – like Sauron’s all-seeing eye on the top of the tower in Mordor from Lord of the Rings. I jumped backwards, nearly knocking into a chair.

‘I know you’re in there,’ he repeated. ‘I can hear you.’

‘Go away!’

‘Let me in darlin’.’ He slurred banging on the door again.

‘I’m not your darling and I’m not letting you in,’ I said emphatically. ‘You’re drunk. Go away!’

‘Oh don’t be like that, darlin’. I’ve only had a couple of beers with the boys.’

‘I told you,’ I repeated. My voice growing louder with each sentence. ‘I’m not your darling. I don’t know you. And I don’t care how many beers you’ve had.’

 ‘Just let me in and I’ll make it up to you.’

‘I’m not letting you in.’

‘Awww… not even if I do your favourite thing?’

I smiled. ‘Not even if you do that,’ I concluded.

I looked through the spy glass cautiously. He was now standing propped up against the opposite wall, the beer bottle hanging loosely in his hand by his side. Even if he knew what my favourite thing was, he was incapable of delivering it.

The phone beside my bed rang.

‘Excuse me madam,’ the hotel security man asked. ‘This man outside your room says that you’re his girlfriend.’

I looked again. The man hadn’t changed nor had my recognition of him. He was now accompanied by a man in uniform with Security written on the jacket pocket.

‘I can assure you, I’ve never seen this man before in my life. I’ve just arrived in Sydney this evening and know only one person, the Duty Officer at the airport. I will not be letting this man into my room so please deal with him.’

         I still don’t know why my suited ‘boyfriend’ picked on my room to hammer down the door. Who knows what would have happened if I had let him in? Would he have done my favourite thing? I’ll never know. Thankful that I seemed to have escaped unscathed, I replaced the security chain across the door lock and went back to sleep.

 

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Latest novel – Love, Suzi x (Diary of a Long-haul Stewardess) out soon.

Posted on May 28, 2013 by Teresahamiltonwriter

Just a note to keep you updated.

Firstly, thank you for following me. I never expected to get followers so each and every one of you is a bonus and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to click here. Secondly if you have enjoyed these posts about Suzi’s life as a long haul stewardess you will be able to read more of her adventures as the book form of this blog is due out to download next month and then as a paperback soon afterwards.

Here’s a preview of the cover. What do you think?ImageI’ll keep you posted as to its progress.

Teresa x

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San Francisco

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Teresahamiltonwriter

San Francisco

I sat on the jump seat on the flight deck of a Boeing 747 as it approached the runway. It was my first flight as a supernumerary and the Captain had generously allowed me to grace his presence. The early afternoon sun was dazzling as the ground quickly came up to meet us. You can’t feel a thing from up there. Not like the normal crash, jolt and oxygen masks coming down as the wheels touch the ground of a heavy landing when we’re sitting down the back. It felt as though we’d just gently stepped out of the sky. I bet the pilot thinks he’s fantastic if he lands like that every time. No wonder they are treated like Gods by the rest of the crew. A lot of the stewardesses I’ve met are gagging to get a ring on their finger from one of these Gods. That is the ultimate prize apparently. Although looking at the state of some of the flight crew I can’t see why. Perhaps if I was looking for a father figure or free flights on the jump seat forever, I might be tempted. Or maybe the attraction is the power element? One of the other girls was going all giggly when ever the striped God came onto her radar, ( they have stripes on their epaulettes so you can recognise what rank they are). As Butch and Sundance would say -Who are these guys? The Captain’s word is law aboard the plane. Nothing happens in that silver bird without his say so. It would have to be a case of Mutiny on the Bounty if the crew wanted to disagree with his commands. Bit tricky to eject him into the Pacific from 35,000ft, but you get the drift.

San Francisco. What could be better for my first flight as a real stewardess?  Well, the Caribbean actually. Kate and Lucy from my training course had opened their rosters to find they were being sent there. Okay, so I was a tinge green around the gills but I must be grateful. Word has it that there are a lot worse places to go than San Francisco and I’m sure as a newbie I’ll get more than my chance to find out. Talk about naïve though! I wondered why so many of this crew had requested a trip to San Fran. Needless to say they were male. I felt such an idiot when one of the straight guys explained. Apparently there’s more than ‘one gay in the village’ in San Francisco. We were brewing up in the galley before take off and he gently explained to me why the crew was top heavy with male members when I casually commented on the fact. I could just feel my cheeks colouring up like a furnace and I had to pretend I was desperate to check the toilets at the back of the aircraft till they returned to their usual pale tone. Doh… I’d better man-up. Shows how sheltered I’ve been in ‘Twinklesville,’ cosseted with Matt all these years. I feel like Sleeping Beauty waking up to realise there’s a big, bad world out there. Oh, when I say ‘Beauty’, that’s not after a long night sector over the Pond after sightseeing and wild partying, of course.

Thank goodness for the steward who helped me complete my paperwork for landing into Heathrow, otherwise I’d have had to request another round trip to get it done in time. We have to reconcile any duty free sales with the stock that we had originally. Taking into account currency exchange rates there is a little room for error, but not the amount I seemed to come up with on my first reckoning. I’d have to have dipped deeply into my pockets to square up my figures until the steward kindly showed me where I was going wrong. (Probably had something to do with the tears welling and the amount of swear words coming from the galley that made him take pity on me?)The documents all have to be signed and the trolleys sealed before landing into Heathrow due to strict customs regulations. The last thing I wanted on my inaugural flight was to be cuffed and led off the plane into a cell because of i) inadvertent embezzlement or even worse, ii) accusations of smuggling.

It’s my own fault; I probably tried to do too much whilst I was out there and was knackered. Well, you would go for it in a big way, wouldn’t you, when it’s your first time in a city? We only had one and half days off there.  Four of us hired a car, (thank God they didn’t ask me to drive – far too confusing with the driver’s seat the wrong side) and we took ourselves off to the see the Golden Gate Bridge, Sausalito, Fisherman’s Wharf and China town. It was amazing. We went down Lombard Street, (famous for being the crookedest street in the world,) and ended up having buffalo stew at a Diner the others knew about.
            I had a great view of the city from my hotel window. I was on the twentieth floor with huge picture windows that looked out onto the streets below. Rows and rows of houses and shops were laid out in regimented form before me. As the sun went down the streetlights began to twinkle in a long line as far as I could see until they disappeared over the hill.

     I think I’m going to enjoy the hotel part of the job. Crew are always accommodated in tip top hotels. No more two star rubbish for me- and that was when Matt wanted to treat me as well! He whisked me away one weekend; I thought I had captured a spontaneous romantic. (Do they exist?)  We ended up checking into a dingy bed and breakfast somewhere by the coast. Damp sheets and a ceiling that ‘rained’ every time the man in the room above didn’t pull his shower curtain across properly. I tried to be considerate and say it didn’t matter, but it would have been better to go camping, at least I would have been wrapped in my own bed linen, even if it was still my old ‘Hello Kitty’ sleeping bag that you and I used to share on our sleep-overs. I must sound ungrateful but come on, when you’re trying to impress your girlfriend; surely you try a bit harder than that? Even if you have known her since she had her braces on.

Suzi x

(More adventures of Suzi on the blog on my website http://www.teresahamilton.co.uk/blog.html

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MY HUSBAND’S DEAD!

Posted on May 16, 2012 by Teresahamiltonwriter

My husband’s dead!’  My mind quickly scanned for the training manual that I had been studying so fervently the last month. Nope, I couldn’t remember any page where it told me how to cope with this eventuality. Mind you, this was exciting stuff for my first flight as a bona fide stewardess.

            ‘Let me come and see, madam,’ was the best I could come up with, flinging back the galley curtain, whilst motioning to my colleague that I needed her. Following the woman up the darkened cabin, I picked my way through arms and legs that were sprawled out over the seats into the aisles, as the passengers relaxed, watching the film after being fed and watered.

            The ‘dead’ husband was slumped in his aisle seat. I racked my brain for what to do. The manual said that as the first crew member on the scene I must make a decision and act. It was so dark it was impossible to tell if he was just deeply asleep or indeed dead. A large man, there was no way the two of us could lift him, to lay him on the floor for mouth to mouth, if that was necessary. I ran my tongue around my teeth and found a little something stuck in the groove of a molar. I had only just finished a tuna roll. What had he just finished? I shook my head. Mouth to mouth was quite unnecessary. I shook his shoulder. No reaction. I shook him harder whilst shouting in his ear. Nothing.

            A. B. C. – ‘Clear the airway,’ came flashing into my mind. This is what I had to do. A stood for airway, B for breathing and C for circulation. It was an emergency and these are fundamental when assessing a person for signs of life. I instinctively started to undo the tight belt around his portly waist. I looked at his wife who had unceremoniously climbed over his inert body and back into her seat, anxiously clutching her knees to her chest.  I questioned her as to what he had to eat and drink on the flight and if he was on any medication.

            I struggled with the catch. It wouldn’t pull tight enough to unclasp the hook. I tugged again, pushing his bulging flesh in slightly with my other hand. I didn’t get very far. Obviously the very action of interfering with the man’s trousers brought him round from wherever he was, pleasantly I hoped. His eyes fluttered and opened as he grabbed my hand to stop me undoing his clothing.

             ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he shouted in disbelief, as I quickly backed off and let his trousers go. I opened my mouth to explain but the cries of joy from his distressed wife overwhelmed him as she clasped his face to cover it with kisses.

It’s not every day you bring someone back to life, become a heroine, (his wife thought I’d performed a miracle) and keep up the cabin crew reputation for customer satisfaction.

Love Suzi x

(More adventures of Suzi on the blog on my website http://www.teresahamilton.co.uk/blog.html



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Jump! Jump!

Posted on May 14, 2012 by Teresahamiltonwriter

I think I’ve been dropped onto a disaster movie set. I’m mid way through my training as cabin crew and this is the practical safety part. I’d heard whispers from the other recruits about how exciting this would be so am prepared to be thrilled to bits. It’s got to be better than the endless mock-up scenarios we’ve endured. The first week of the training was residential. We were closeted together in a hotel for six whole days and nights; to see what cat fights would break out amongst the girls? There are only three stewards on our course. Not sure what that signifies at the moment but as none of them are eye candy I can’t see any mud wrestling ahead for the chance to partner one of them on the other side of the trolley. Only on our second day we were dispersed to various airports around Europe. After a lovely jolly to Amsterdam, I’m hoping the fact that my partner and I missed our flight home won’t mean a black mark against our names nor be an indication of what is to come. Aghhh….

    Much of this training course has consisted of role play. They obviously saw that I was a closet actress bursting to tread the boards and would never make the Royal Shakespeare Company so took pity on me. I  have pretended to be amongst other things an angry passenger so my partner can learn to pacify me, [basically ,you just smile, empathise and shut up, they work on the theory that it takes two to argue, they should try telling Matt, my boyfriend that.] I have a training manual that needs a chauffeur, like a politician’s red box just to transport it, I can hold a tray of ‘chicken or beef sir’ plus extra peanuts for the passenger in 39K and my hat sits at just the right jaunty angle to look professional but not pudding bowlish when I swish through the airport terminal. If I spill the entire contents of the coffee pot over a passenger in turbulence, instead of squealing and rushing to the loo in embarrassment, I can deal with it. Smiling all the time of course!

    The hangar has half of various kinds of aircraft in situ hanging off the walls. We are led towards the 747 and surreally we walk up the stairs behind and enter the ‘aircraft’. Like lambs to the slaughter we find our seats and sit patiently. There is a mixture of experienced and new crew, as to pass this test is an annual requirement for everyone. Then the trainers arrive and at random we are chosen to play the role of the cabin crew or passengers.
Pick a disaster, any disaster and they can simulate it from their control desk. Bit like a mixture of ‘Snakes on a Plane’ and ‘Airport,’ anything can happen. I sit down. Please God don’t let them pick me. I keep my head down. Please don’t pick me. Don’t let me be the one to let everyone die. I get a reprieve the first time and am to play the part of a passenger. I decide against demanding a blanket, drink and playing with my seat back. Perhaps not the moment to be juvenile. The cabin starts to fill with smoke. My hands start sweating. Lordy, it’s only a mock up. I give myself a stiff talking to. Smoke begins to fill the immediate area and I can see the ‘crew’ fumbling to retrieve a fire extinguisher and rushing about. Someone barks at me to leave my seat and make my way to the open doors. This is more like it. Time to play. I am ten again and standing at the top of the biggest yellow slide I’ve ever seen as the aircraft chute unfolds before me. I jump out, arms folded across my body. I am the perfect passenger. No stilettos to pierce anything, no manic scrabbling to save my duty free and no sitting down on the lip of the chute to take it gently as though I’m at the local park. But I leap with such enthusiasm, if it wasn’t for the mattress stuck to the wall at the end, I’d have broken limbs I go so fast. I climb the steps to the aircraft again. We’re debriefed.  The previous ‘crew’ forgot to turn up the cabin lighting so that they could see the fire. Tut, tut. I’m picked to play crew. This time round, it’s an emergency landing complete with flash lighting and sound effects. I don’t know if we are on fire or broken in two, three or millions of pieces. I’m seated behind the passengers at the rear door. This is my moment. I must wait until the captain announces which doors to evacuate from in case there is a hazard outside I don’t know about.  And… action!
Aghh. Nothing comes over the intercom system. I wait… The trainer looks at me. The captain hasn’t announced that we should open the doors. Do I wait and we’ll all burn to death or do I use my initiative and start shouting at everyone to evacuate? Evacuate. That’s what I’ll do. The captain might be knocked unconscious up there. They wouldn’t be able to write about my heroic antics if I wait too long for him to give the commands and we’re all burnt to a cinder. I look through the window. Nope. Nothing hazardous that I can see. I heave open the aircraft door and bark orders at everyone. Blimey. I hope they move quicker than this in a real emergency. I’m supposed to be the last one off after checking the cabin is clear. I’ll be toast if they dawdle like this. The power goes to my head.
‘Jump! Jump!’ I shout at them and start pushing them off. ‘No, don’t sit down. Jump!’
A stewardess cowers at the back.
‘I’m pregnant,’ she offers. Pregnant or not, sorry lady you will be a goner if I leave you behind. Is she pregnant for real or is she a ringer just to test me? Her face is pale but I can’t see an obvious bump.  Could I have the guilt of making her miscarry if she is really expecting?  The trainer barks at me to clear the cabin.  She stands screeching at me not to force her to jump as I pull her towards the door. I have to decide. Me or her. I leave her to her mock death and save myself. Perhaps they could leave that bit out in the news article?
Love Suzi x              

                       (More adventures of Suzi on the blog on my website http://www.teresahamilton.co.uk/blog.html    



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Posted on March 12, 2012 by Teresahamiltonwriter

Diary Of a Long-haul Stewardess

‘I’ve got my dream job – flying round the world, staying in expensive hotels and paid to do it . What girl could ask for more? Well – without seeming greedy, me actually. It’s these things called hormones. I took the job because I was stuck in a rut with a boyfriend who wanted me to slip into old age without a fight. He wants babies but I’ve got to see what’s out there before I get sick on my shoulder,baby wipes in my handbag and droopy bags for boobs. The trouble is, things aren’t working out as planned. I’m loving it and babies couldn’t be further from my mind. Confused, so am I? Something’s got to give – but what’s it going to be?’
Suzi x

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